I offer a subsidized class for the Donnington community on Monday nights. Other than Kwok who attends when he can, there is only one male. After the first class, when I saw this man's face it reminded me of the first time I did YogaDance. The only way I can describe the expression is "blissed out." The following week he gushed to Kwok (not knowing Kwok was my husband) about how much he loved the class. He also asked the head of our charity, "Where did you find her?" (I laughed when I heard about this, thinking that she probably thought, "I don't know... but I want her to go back where she came from!") The class was only initially offered for one month, but I have decided to offer it regularly now. When he learned this, he sent me a message which said he was relieved as he was anticipating a grieving period when it finished. He finds the practice nourishing.
I should note that Kripalu yoga is very different from other asana practices I have experienced. Kripalu means compassion. The goal for me when I teach is not to make people look a certain way in a posture, or to have them stretch "just a little further." My goal is to help people get into their bodies, their breaths, their spirits and explore those edges... and find the places where those edges meet, blur, soften. (As a quick note, yoga is very much a philosophy; the asana practice--posture practice--is only one of eight limbs of yoga. In the West, "yoga" seems to be the catchall for the physical practice.)
This difference between Kripalu and some other popular styles was highlighted for me recently when I offered a free private session to a friend of a friend. The client had bone cancer as a child and underwent many surgeries, covering her lower body in scars and ultimately leaving her with a titanium rod in her right leg which disallows her from bending her knee; because of this, she suffers with pain, as well as an unbalanced gait. One leg is longer than the other. She is also quite a large woman, which one could almost expect given the disability and the limitations it places on physical exercise.
I met with her for two and a half hours on Sunday. She told me she felt called to yoga because she stretches every morning to help with her condition, but that the previous yoga classes she attended turned her off. She felt she could not keep up despite having been encouraged by the teachers to attend. She had almost given up on yoga when our mutual friend mentioned me. She contacted me after visiting my website (www.sanctuarygrace.com) because the tone of the website said something different to her than her previous teacher, whose website talked about "seeking perfection." Yikes. When she told me that, I had to refrain from commenting, but for me, that is so not what yoga is about.
My session with her went really well... and she now wants to regularly attend my weekend classes at the Yoga Garden in Oxford. I'm elated. Too, she sent me one of the most beautiful emails I have ever received. She said that her "soul was singing," and that her body felt so much better. She also believed she had learned a lot. I nearly cried when I got the email, and Kwok said to me, "Changing lives one posture at a time...."
It isn't just the physical, as I've said. One woman in my Monday class who has experienced some tremendous grief in the past year wept throughout the closing minutes of the last class she attended. Unfortunately/Fortunately, this has opened up her grief in a new way. She said to me that she believed she gave herself lots of space to think, but very little to feel--and that my yoga class gave her the space to just feel... and feel... and feel.
It is a powerful practice.
I feel unbelievably blessed that I can give this gift to others....
Recently, a New York Times article titled, "How Yoga Can Wreck Your Body," rattled the yoga world. If I'm being honest, I was annoyed by the article. I thought the article did not apply to Kripalu. It applies to poorly trained teachers and those that practice the physical practice without the mental and spiritual checks: meaning, those that practice with large doses of ego. (Ego can be a quick gateway to pain.) What bothered me most about the article was the fear. I thought, how many people who really need this practice will be turned away from it now because of an article that was largely used to promote a new book? Basically: lame.
The upshot is that many responses to the article appeared in the yoga community--some in favor, many in disfavor. A friend from my teacher training posted this link on our facebook group. What resonated with me most, however, was not the rebuttal to the NY Times, but the following:
On my first few meditation retreats, I couldn’t believe that I, a Yale-Law-educated, future captain of industry and/or government, was spending my time with these fuzzy-headed, New Age crystal-gazers. At least until some showed themselves to be emotionally adept and spiritually perceptive, and until I saw my own judgments as coming from fear and insecurity.
Substitute Yale-Law-educated with my educational and scholarly details, and there is a striking resemblance. To an extent, I still struggle to reconcile that driven student with this yoga teacher--the yoga teacher that forgets accolades and does not try to show people that yes, she is smart; yes, she is talented. How sad it feels that for years I never thought I was enough. I needed to be more, do more, to even come close to "being enough"--whatever that even means!
I am still on this journey... and I always will be on a journey. What yoga has taught me is not how to wreck my body, but how to love it and nurture it. It has also taught me to love and nurture myself--that essence that is housed in this physical vessel. I am so blessed... and I am wishing you blessings. In my mind, I see showers of blessed petals blowing, cascading the Earth over. How powerful the notion that within us lies the ability to heal.
Love to all!
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